How often do you look back at your life as a child and reminisce about how simple it all was back then? Our stress and concerns back then were nothing compared to the stress we experience as adults. During my school days, you wouldn’t see as many kids suffering from depression or anxiety. In fact, as a child and teenager, I didn't even know those illnesses existed. There was more balance.
After high school, it was time to choose what I wanted to study. I looked around at my friends – all of them clear on the path they wanted to take, it seemed. I had no clue. I caved to pressures that had nothing to do with passion and found myself studying law. What would follow was to be the lowest 3 years of my life and my first experience of depression, anxiety and my true self. I had chosen law because on paper, it was an exceptionally good idea - (a)my parents would be proud, (b)I would be helping people, (c)lawyers earned good money and (d)I loved watching Boston Legal and Ally McBeal, so I would obviously love being a lawyer, right?
The problem was, allowing my enjoyment of a TV show to determine what would make me happy in my career was not an entirely fool-proof plan. I didn’t know that law wouldn't actually make me happy. I didn’t know how to listen to my passion. No one had cultivated that skill in me. Not because the people in my life were bad or uncaring, but because they had never learned how to cultivate passion in their own lives.
I remember the day that I finally plucked up the courage to walk away from Law. As I left the administration building of the University and walked towards my car, I looked up at the sky and noticed the striking blue for the first time in years. I actually paused to feel the cool breeze on my face. For the first time in years, I felt free from anxiety and depression and that freedom afforded me the ability to be fully present in my life as it was happening. I didn’t know what I was going to do next, but I knew it was going to be ok.
How many people are living trapped in a state of passionless existence?
What I learned soon after my own ordeal was that some of the kids that seemed clear on their paths after high school were just as unsure as I was. But they followed through anyway and learned to bottle up the anxiety and depression rather than listen to it. This leads to a career that we tolerate because it pays the bills, rather than one that inspires us daily. That oppressive acceptance filters into other areas of our lives and we start to choose partners, homes, hobbies, experiences and things that are all “good on paper” and “ok-ish” rather than ones that ignite within us gratitude, joy and happiness.
The worst part is that the pressure to get it right (even though we are getting it so wrong) has filtered down to our kids. Our society has extended the pressure to conform to this standard idea of success to our most vulnerable. And the result we are seeing is kids in primary school are starting to suffer from stress-related illnesses, such as anxiety and depression. Suicide rates sky-rocket, while people search for their happiness and self-esteem in products, brands and painfully unhealthy addictions.
While studying communications on my path to becoming a social media and communications specialist, I chose non-communication modules in psychology and philosophy. Through these additional courses, I began to understand the intricate nature of communication in general. Not only how we communicate with others, but also how we communicate with ourselves. In the same way that we would diffuse an argument with another by carefully choosing our words and tone, we must learn to do the same when we speak to ourselves.
After another painful lesson in living an authentic and passionate life, taught to me through a job that was the exact opposite of everything I needed and wanted, I went about digging myself out of another passion-less hole I had created. I engaged in various life coaching-like processes to harness confidence, gratitude and positivity in building the life I wanted. Other people noticed my self-improvement and began to talk to me about their own struggles. They became part of my self-healing, as I helped them while I helped myself. I realized that I could use my understanding of external and internal communication in collaboration with life coaching principles and practices to help people heal their lives.
So I took my degree in Communication Science and embarked on a new career as a life coach.
Since then, I have helped many people uncover their true passion in life. I have taught people to deliberately choose every aspect of their own self-talk to create a better lives for themselves.
I have worked with couples to uncover the infinite loving communication under fleeting moments of anger to build strong and respectful relationships that can withstand the many obstacles to happy marriage.
Communication is an intricate part of how we interact, build, evolve and thrive as people and it can be a powerful tool if we use it correctly.
If you are interested in working with me to uncover your own uniquely passion-driven life, start your journey here.